User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers

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It takes some time to get to know another person. And it’s not only about what they do and what they like, but also how they interact with you and others. Some small, insignificant comments or remarks can actually have a hidden meaning and reveal that someone you know does not necessarily have good intentions. Throughout time, by getting to know others better and by gaining experience, people start to see signs of others being manipulative or inconsiderate. Having this in mind, Reddit user u/neilnelly asked people “What is something subtle people say that is a red flag to you?”

This gave a green light for other users to share what they find annoying and alarming about other people’s behavior, from people complimenting others just to achieve personal gain to imposing their own views on others when it’s unwanted. Here is the list of 55 things people say to trick you into something that should be taken into account as these are some major red flags.

What are other obvious signs you know that people use to trick or deceive others? Leave your thoughts in the comments down below!

More Info: Reddit

#1

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersI used to go to the bar after work with coworkers. One of the managers didn’t go, but a coworker kept encouraging him to come out and party. He relented and said he’d come out for one drink. At the bar, he took a sip and said “ah, I haven’t had a beer in 5 months”. No one else took notice of that, but it struck me. He was gone a week later after coming into work drunk and doing something inappropriate.

To anyone reading this: If someone doesn’t want to drink, accept no for an answer. They might have a very good reason to say no, and pressing them on it, especially when well intentioned, might make it much harder for them to say no.

BelowDeck,Lou StejskalReport

#2

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersIdk if this is one, but when people say things like “I can say and do whatever I want” “it’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?” in order to justify s****y things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say.

87319496,prisca schmarsowReport

#3

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersDon’t be so sensitive (or something to that effect). Big warning sign that they A- don’t care about your feelings, and B- can’t take responsibility for their behaviour

Heart_in_her_eye,micadewReport

#4

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersIt was just a joke. Where’s your sense of humor?

chuchimumi,Aina VidalReport

#5

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“Ok fine I’m sorry happy?” That’s not an apology.

Celq124,Alan LevineReport

#6

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersAnything that exposes poor morals. For example, “I’ll just say I never got it so they send me another one.”

When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote.

emik7133,Tracey AdamsReport

#7

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersI’m not racist but

thiosk,zoetnetReport

#8

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“I’m brutally honest” or some other excuse to be an unbearable person.

mywifemademegetthis,Pedro Ribeiro SimõesReport

#9

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersTreating service staff poorly, then turning around and being disingenuous.

Ariandrin,Terinea IT SupportReport

#10

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersIf they wronged you and say something like, “I’m such a terrible person, you should leave me.” It’s them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They’re not going to change if you stay.

AnonyMissBliss,Alexey DushutinReport

#11

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersI personally move away from people who constantly one up someone’s story or experience

Classic-Daikon-5448,Pedro Ribeiro SimõesReport

#12

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersI’m a guy but anytime I hear other guys say “friend zone” or “girls only date a**holes” or anything that sounds incel/misogynistic, I’m not going to be too fond of the person

OW2000,Nick GrayReport

#13

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersPositive vibes only!

gfitzy7,Glen BledsoeReport

#14

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“I try to be more like my kids’ friend than their mom.”

holyurushiol,Leonid MamchenkovReport

#15

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“Yeah, but YOU don’t act black.”

The f**k?

cherenkov_light,Johnny SilvercloudReport

#16

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersMaking rude comments about homeless ppl and being rude to waitstaff

LittleLulu333,Carl GraphReport

#17

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersNon-apologies.

“I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.”

SelfDiagnosedUnicorn,Guian BolisayReport

#18

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersIf you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.

paperclip1213,Robbert van der SteegReport

#19

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“Sorry I did this and that, It’s just my inner zodiac sign.”

Like, your zodiac sign doesn’t define you, you’re just being a s****y person and using that phrase as a cover up.

Tiredchopsticks,Peter CorbettReport

#20

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersWhen people talk s**t on their spouses. Like even in the most subtle way it’s still not appropriate small talk. If it’s my best friend and she’s telling me about a hardship or a fight, different. But when I’m meeting you for the first time I shouldn’t be able to pick up that you dislike your spouse/SO.

Unhappy-Addendum-759,irisgazerReport

#21

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersWhen they disagree with someone, they default to attacking the person’s character instead of their actions. We all do this from time to time, but with some people it’s every time. The guy who messed up their order is “an idiot”. Their boss is “an evil sociopath”. The person on Facebook who expressed a political view that opposes theirs is “a degenerate”. That new intern at work is “hopeless”. In the end, the final result is that anyone they disagree with for any reason is either an inherently bad person who doesn’t really merit listening to.

Celestaria,Frederick DennstedtReport

#22

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“I’m a nice guy” …. Sure you are. Why you gotta justify to me just show it.

littlecassowary,Andrij BulbaReport

#23

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersWhen they are the victim in all of their stories.

I had a colleague who didn’t really have any friends outside of work. All of her stories were about how each of her friends had stabbed her in the back at one time or another. She went travelling to Australia with 6 girls and left early because they didn’t want to do the things she wanted. It was glaringly obvious that she was the issue but still tried to play the sweet victim.

There is another girl from my high school who has gained quite a few followers on social media through sharing her stories of being bullied in school for being bald. No one can remember that ever happening, she was quite popular but had lost touch with her group as you do when you move away for college. Also, she was never bald.

Red flags when people enjoy pity.

POded99,David StanleyReport

#24

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersMaybe this is nitpicky but people who give nicknames or use a shortened version of your name without asking if you mind it. It’s annoyed me my whole life and always seems to correlate with them not respecting more serious boundaries later on.

Jazz_Brain,Sascha KohlmannReport

#25

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersBut you’re so good at it. Aka I’ll compliment you in the hope that you’ll take this task off my hands.

amelie_v,Jessie PearlReport

#26

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“I just tell it like it is…”

Is a red flag for me personally.

AnarchistWhiskey,Matus LaslofiReport

#27

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersIf they compliment themselves often but rarely or never others, for me that’s an obvious narcissistic trait.

newtypehero,Myllena AzevedoReport

#28

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersWhen they try to fish compliments. For example they say: ‘why am I so ugly?’

theDiscreetLurker,ErWinReport

#29

“Well then I guess I’ll never do / buy / say / ask anything / (normal okay thing that isn’t actually the problem) ever again.”

eternal_dancerReport

#30

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“I’m an empath” makes me want to get in my car and drive ten hours in the opposite direction while shoving wool in my ears.

My last roommate called herself an empath. Turned out to be a 30 year old emotionally abusive a** who let her dog s**t in our apartment. Empath my a**

aards,Tom WoodwardReport

#31

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“I’m not (blank) but…(insert statement that affirms they are what they’re claiming not to be)

stokeszdude,Lachlan HardyReport

#32

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersPretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it’s not prompted or necessary.

Like “I’m an honest person”, “I’m a hard worker”, or “I’d never hit a woman”.

jrhawk42,DidriksReport

#33

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answersmy s/o wont let me do so & so

beamergirl_66,Gilles FRANCOISReport

#34

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersAsking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like main stream stuff. (I guess this applies to stuff other than music but that’s what annoys me the most)

keeper-of-calves,laura betancourtReport

#35

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“That’s just the way God made me,” as an excuse for being a b***h or d**k. Like it’s just their personally and they can’t help it so we should all just accept it.

slfraire,Eric ChanReport

#36

Anyone who tries to convince you that you can trust them.

“Come on man, you can trust me. I’d never do that to you.”

People who are actually trust worthy don’t need to convince anyone of anything and they also know that real trust isn’t freely given to people you barely know and are not offended when they are not given it.

Oblique9043Report

#37

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersWhen someone says “they’re my karma child” and implies their child makes their life so hard it must be payback for a mistake they made in the past. I usually discover this person has intense mental health or substance use history. It’s a s****y way of mentioning their disdain for their kid.

thesensiblething,Tour The TriadReport

#38

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers“With all due respect.”

I know a guy who says this so frequently that when he says it, I brace myself for the s**t to follow.

newenglandredshirt,CydcorReport

#39

“I know what I’m worth.” Especially in a romantic setting, OLD or first date type stuff. It’s good to have a strong sense of self but I’ve found when this exact phrase is stated/listed something ain’t right.

serene_brutalityReport

#40

Less a direct statement and more of a behavior, but I find myself becoming less able to hang out with the people I know who seem to have no respect for any type of input I have on a subject, despite me trying to always at least entertain what they’re saying for the purpose of the discussion, even if it’s absurd.

I’ll have something to add, and they’ll seem to not even hear what I’ve said, either ignoring it all together or immediately dismissing it as incorrect, sometimes even using the same arguments I just said in explaining why what I just said is nonsense.

And on the occasion that I actually decide to go through the effort of defending my stance, they usually end it with some dismissive statement like “well that’s your opinion”. Yes, that is my opinion, and considering the fact that I have been sitting here listening to and showing respect towards, even if not always supporting, your opinion, I think would justify me in asking for the same basic respect.

This turned into a rant, and I’m sorry about that. To put it shortly, I guess I’d say when a person seems to have a lot of difficulty with you disagreeing with them, and never seems to even pretend they are giving your position any real thought beyond “no, you’re wrong because…” Then I’d say they aren’t your friend, and you should consider no longer trying to be theirs.

MountainGloatReport

#41

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersRecently had someone tell me “I hate being accused of lying.” I’m sure we can all guess what he keeps getting caught doing…

InBtwixt,Simply CVRReport

#42

“I’m always open to debate.”

I find most people that say that are open to lecture you, and closed to debate.

StringVarReport

#43

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersWhen I started my new job the bubbliest girl who was loved by most of the staff and was also a HR manager would act like this when me and her were totally alone.

She would whisper ever so softly (to herself but to me) “you get no thanks around here, no one cares. You just wait and watch the knives stabbing when you least expect it”. This is something she did on my first DAY!! I said to her everyone seems lovely and accepting and she said “well wait until you get to know them”.

This was a HR MANAGER!!

Edit I’ve just realised this isn’t very subtle

Also Edit! Seems like alot of people see this girls actions as good. I don’t, this was my first day and I really believe if people start talking about others they’re setting the tone for YOU to perceive the person they are gossiping about, it made me nervous, your first day is bad enough. I was there for 7 months and not one person showed any signs of being a backstabber. Not one! Nothing even remotely shady.

Little_Hobbitt,Dan Taylor-WattReport

#44

Try to say, “It could have been worse” (Or something to that affect) everytime they make a mistake. “Yeah, it could have been worse, but you still wrecked my car Rachel”

UrasnoFlake2Report

#45

“Can’t you just do it?” instead of wanting to learn something.

mmm-pistol-whipReport

#46

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersStarting an argument for no reason and then not having the capacity to resolve it.

blippityblop,Iryna YeroshkoReport

#47

Referring to women as “females”.

ChibiRedgraveReport

#48

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersNever asking a question. My husband realized his father never does this and now I can’t stop listening for this.

foofoofoobears,Quinn DombrowskiReport

#49

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best AnswersYou’ll know I like you when I make fun of every single thing you do maliciously.

Like wth

tsoro,Brieuc SaffréReport

#50

Someone who frequently, in response to you telling them about a bad or inconvenient thing that happened to you, start with “Well what you SHOULD have done…” or “What I would have done…” and then argue with your reasonings for not finding their solution helpful. These people tend to be very opinionated and stubborn, even in situations they don’t really know anything about. This is especially true if paired with a tendency to always win/have bad losing habits, are generally immature, or have a history of just not knowing what they’re talking about but just want to assert themselves in the conversation anyways

Edit: To those who do this to a fault, it’s a completely normal behavior! Sometimes it’s hard to not begin searching for solutions to a loved one’s problem. However it’s different when you do it excessively, or to the point of making the other person feel stressed or incompetent. I’m mostly talking about this when it’s accompanied by other red flags but can be a standalone depending on frequency/social context.

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